I Don’t: Questions Not to Ask Your Wedding Planner

It’s your special day, and by Jove, it will be perfect! Absolutely perfect.

But things don’t always go as planned, no matter how hard you try. Such is life.

But now you’ve found that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, for planned and unplanned events alike.

And now might be time to wrestle with the fact that while your special day will be splendid, it might not be perfect.

Because, really, what in life ever goes according to the plans and turns out perfect?

At any rate, you’ll try like hell to make sure it is perfect, no matter how many open toed shoes you step on. It’s your day, after all.

And who better to help ensure your wedding day is perfect than your wedding planner?

They’ve helped put the pieces together. And they are indeed working in your best interest.

They’ll do anything for love. But sometimes they won’t do that… because, well… it’s asking too much and you’re being unreasonable.

Listed below are the 10 things you should never ask your wedding planner:

1. 24/7 Availability

Your wedding day is all about you and your happiness.

Despite all the apprehension leading up to your big day (things have to be perfect!), your wedding planner can’t be expected to be on call for your needs 24/7.

The reason is simple: they have other clients, as well as personal lives of their own.

So don’t expect your wedding planner to lend an empathetic ear at 3 a.m. when you begin fretting about your bridesmaid’s dresses being the slightly wrong shade of mauve.

2. Run Your Errands

Much like expecting 24/7 on-call availability, wedding planners do have boundaries.

They’re already helping you plan your wedding, and their plans for making your plans happen don’t include picking up prescriptions or dry cleaning.

Some planners, however, might actually be willing. But it will cost you.

Wedding planners have a business to run and their time can’t be managed properly if they’re getting requests for menial tasks.

If you’re willing to shell out a few extra dollars for errands, you could ask your planner, just don’t expect them to do it for free (or be happy about it).

3. Settle Squabbles

Oh, the joys of getting the family together to celebrate the union of two people in love.

While most people are likely happy for you, and even looking forward to the event, there’s always a few wild cards in the RSVP list.

For example, your wedding day just might be thefirst time your alcoholic uncle sees his estranged ex-wife with her new partner.

Some family members warned you not to invite him, and with hushed shouts echoing throughout the atrium, they are telling you just that.

It’s creating a scene. While you might have paid your wedding planner for the perfect day, they aren’t trained in conflict resolution, so don’t expect them to jump in and solve family squabbles.

4. Provide Security

The previously mentioned alcoholic uncle just noticed his ex-wife and her new partner for the first time.

And the open bar isn’t helping.

He’s losing it, and everyone on the peripherals is watching the situation grow from awkward to worse as he switches to whiskey.

The family knows what happens when he drinks whiskey, yet they let him anyway. And the commotion starts as he confronts his former lover’s new man.

Your wedding planner is just that, and they didn’t plan for this (because who did?).

Don’t expect them to jump in to act as a bouncer. Let your uncle sleep it off in the coat room while your wedding planner does their actual job.

5. Help With Set-Up

Simply put, you hired your wedding planner to plan your special day.

As such, don’t ask them to help set-up (or tear-down) the tables and chairs for the reception.

They aren’t a source of cheap labor. That’s what children are for.

6. Provide Legal Advice

Your wedding planner deals with holy matrimony all the time, so they must have some advice to offer, right?

Wrong. They operate a business, and as such, they have to worry about liability.

Sure, they might know their way around a wedding contract better than most.

But since they’re aren’t an attorney, don’t expect them to offer legal advice which could create liability for them in the event something goes wrong.

7. Provide Transportation

Providing transportation isn’t limited to ensuring everyone makes it to the ceremony and reception on time.

You know they’re busy, and you can’t expect them to act as a taxi. But how about moving that huge pot of flowers?

But how about moving that huge pot of flowers? Or… what about making sure nothing is left behind at the end of the night?

While some planners might do what they can to help, don’t expect them to spend their time shuffling objects around from room to room (or storing the items left behind to be picked up at your convenience).

8. Care For the Guests

Your guests are just that – your guests.

And your wedding planner is just that – your wedding planner.

They are responsible for creating the event and ensuring it runs smoothly.

Placing the responsibility of making sure the guests are happy is too much for any one person, especially your planner.

9. Create a Seating Chart

You can’t expect your wedding planner to know or understand the dynamics of your family.

You’re the one that created the invitation list, and you know who will be attending. And… you know these people well (and sometimes wish you didn’t).

As much as you would prefer to leave the headache of arranging relatives to someone else, you can’t expect your wedding planner to know who gets along with who.

They can, however, office advice on how to make the seating process go smoothly.

It might be up to you, though, to ensure that floral arrangement blocks your drunk uncle’s view of his ex-wife (it’s for the greater good).

10. Select Your Officiant

Unfortunately, your wedding planner’s list of business contacts doesn’t include a Rolodex of officiants.

Selecting an officiant is a highly personal matter, so it’s best not to leave that decision up to your wedding planner.

While they might have a few names to recommend, don’t expect them to make the final call.


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